1/27/2025
I first found out about Felix Fremlin on the SNAP Facebook page in 2022. He is the SNAP peer support contact for Fiji. By the time I found his contact, I had spent months scouring the internet and emailing churches in Japan, Singapore, and Malaysia asking about resources for victims. Few churches responded to me. (The ones that did were independent and non-denominational. They didn’t know of any resources in particular but wanted me to let them know if I found any.) That entire region of the world seemed to be a desert with few resources for victims.
And then I found out that Mr. Fremlin was a victim who had come forward in Fiji. This is not a small thing. It would take an uncommon level of courage and perseverance. Consider this: In America, we celebrate people coming forward and speaking “truth to power”, and it is still hard to report abuse. Even in America which only has a minority of people who are Catholic, standing up to the Roman Catholic Church is a legally and psychologically risky proposition.
One thing that stuck with me is Mr. Fremlin’s honest and straight forward way of looking at things. I went through a period when I was trying to make sense of the abuse crisis in light of the teaching and practices of the Roman Catholic Church. I was trying to deny the obvious. I was avoiding the reality that many Catholic teachings and practices not only enable abuse but make it likely. Mr. Fremlin pointed out things I was avoiding, especially how Roman Catholicism diverges from teachings of the Bible.
I recently had the opportunity to converse with Mr. Fremlin in a bit more depth. I asked if I could share some of the things I have learned from him. His story is also included in this article in BishopAccountability.org: “The island’s didn’t escape the church’s legacy of sexual abuse“.
Mr. Fremlin was abused by multiple priests. He was abused on a weekly basis by two Marist brothers at the Marist school in Suva for eight years from 1979-1986. His family lived next to the school, and he was at the school from morning until evening all day throughout primary school. The brothers would lure him in with sweets. Later he was invited in by other priests in a van who would provide him with alcohol. He trusted the clergymen, who in his community were considered messengers of God. He thought what was happening was normal and okay because it was with priests.
He tried to tell his father. His father beat him.
He tried to come forward to the archbishop, Peter Loy Chong. His archbishop only responded to Mr. Fremlin after reporters started contacting the archdiocese. The archbishop met with Mr. Fremlin in a building where Mr. Fremlin had been abused, making the meeting difficult. The archbishop suggested that Mr. Fremlin meet with experts within the church who could deal with that kind of situation. Mr. Fremlin thought this was amusing because these “experts” were part of the same institution responsible for the abuse.
After his story became public, Mr. Fremlin was verbally attacked by thousands of Catholics in Fiji. They were upset that he was bringing bad press to the faith. Much of Fijian society, including prominent members of government, are members of the Catholic Church. There is tremendous pressure to stay silent.
At times Mr. Fremlin has found it difficult. The trauma of the abuse impacts his sleep. There are almost no resources for survivors in Fiji, and professional counseling for clergy abuse victims is practically non-existent. Mr. Fremlin explained to me: “I keep trudging on little by little as the story had to be told.” Unless victims speak up, nothing will change.
Unless victims speak up, nothing will change.
Today Mr. Fremlin meets with other survivors in cafes. He also meets with an old group of friends, several of whom have experienced sexual abuse by priests. In these meetings the absurdity of it all often brings them to laughter. What a blessing that these friends and survivors have come together. In addition to these survivor gatherings, sports have helped him stay healthy.
Mr. Fremlin pointed out that some victims are not so lucky. He has observed that some victims go on to abuse kids themselves.
I think this point is critical for us to understand: abusers are often victims as well. The world-wide sex abuse crisis in the Roman Catholic church is not just a collection of disconnected cases. There is a culture that is self-perpetuating. There is a cycle of abuse. There is a lot of suffering.
God does not abandon his children.
Mr. Fremlin no longer goes to church, but he believes in God. This is one thing that I find hopeful about Mr. Fremlin’s story. I hope more victims can recognize God’s grace in their lives, how he carries them during the darkest times. God does not abandon his children.
