2024-11-29
When I was living in Tokyo, I used to walk past the English-speaking Catholic church, the Franciscan Chapel Center. For years I asked myself if I could really stay Catholic. And I had this deep conviction that, despite its problems, I belonged to the Catholic church. I felt it in my soul.
The problems of the church were my problems. I couldn’t abandon my mother, the Church. Despite all its flaws, the Catholic Church was my portal to God. This was my belief. It was the way me and my family could experience a piece of heaven together while we are still here on our Earthly sojourn.
God knocked me off my feet and gently told me, “no”.
I was lost in severe cognitive dissonance, a spiritual psychosis. (See here.) Ultimately, though, I knew where I was headed. He had His angels collect me up and attend to me in the emotional and spiritual desert I was lost in.
I was on the wrong path. I do not belong to the Roman Catholic Church. I belong to God. The Roman Catholic Church also belongs to God. And that is the most fundamental building block.
It was a painful course correcting, but I am grateful. Every morning I wake up and pray, “Ruach Ha-Kodesh (Holy Spirit), I give myself to you without reservation”.
I hold nothing back. I do not have an allegiance to any human spiritual leader, practice, or tradition above my allegiance to my Creator.