Tricking Victims

December 4, 2023

You are like whitewashed tombs, which appear beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and every kind of filth. Matthew 23:27

Here is the short version of what happens:

Someone is hurt by a priest. Yes, it might be assault. Or it might just be a matter of something that is morally repugnant but not criminal.

This person doesn’t want to come “forward” per se but feel they have no other choice. Either they need help, they feel the priests needs help, or both. Or maybe the just feel like it would be wrong to not report morally repugnant behavior. Eventually they make their way to the Office of Professional Standards. They truly hope for reconciliation. They want pastoral support. They still trust and respect the pastors, the priest’s community, or the diocese. They have faith in them.

So the victim comes forward in good faith, and to them it is a situation of Christians coming together to address a serious issue. Despite being hurt by a priest, they hold tight to their faith in the Roman Catholic Church.

And the Office of Professional Standards may have individuals who care. There may be employees who really want to help the victims heal. When I was dealing with this office, there was a friar who seemed to really sincerely care about my well-being. But he was not in charge.

Victims are asked to share everything. They are told to talk to an investigator so that the truth can be found out. The victim truly wants to help. They still have faith. They are told the investigation is independent.

The investigator tells the victim to be sure to “share everything”. It will help in the healing process.

And the victim still thinks this is a process guided by Biblical principles. They want to forgive. They want reconciliation. They want the situation to be worked out. They feel like they are helping this group, diocese, community, etc. to be better. They feel like they are doing their Christian duty, to help their brothers in Christ.

The victim still has faith. They have faith that their pastors care about them.

But the investigation is not independent. After the investigation, when the victim contacts the investigator, the investigator refuses to share anything. After all, they were paid by the Roman Catholic clergy. They have no obligations to the victims. The reason the investigator wants to know everything, every little detail, does not seem to be for the purpose of helping the victim. The investigators/lawyers working for the church use the investigation to collect intel. It seems to me their goal is to craft a legal defense should the situation go to court. They want to find out weaknesses in the victim’s story, or they want to find out weaknesses in the victim’s character.

And this right here is what I struggle so much to deal with. That men who call themselves our pastors would do this to victims is so breathtakingly evil.

2024-8-12 Info and Update: My experience was with the Professional Standards and Safeguarding Office for the Franciscan Friars Province of the Holy Spirit. (I have communicated my feelings to them at length. There has been no meaningful response concerning this particular issue. Basic questions still go unanswered. I don’t know who has been interviewed. I don’t have a copy of the report.) My investigator was Julianna Demetrius of Demetrius Solutions. (Please note, on April 29, 2023 and February 22, 2024 I reached out to her concerning my feelings on this. She has not responded. She has not tried to correct my interpretation of what happened.)

2024-10-20 Update: The friar who I thought cared is David Leary. See this blog post for an update. This office was blatantly psychologically abusive, and I told them this repeatedly.

But I am not the only one with this experience.

See below. For more information, contact me through the contact form or connect with SNAP on Facebook.

Essentially, the investigations are shams, and there is no transparency: